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Stay Busy!

by Braver

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1.
Yea 02:20
I was always angry over things I can't control. It took 20 years for everything to boil over. And now there's always something and it once had seemed so old... I'll take 20 more to finally see it's never over. Yea, I know, I was always in control. Yea, I know that these things, which grow old, fall in deep and hold on tighter. So now there's always something, and it once had seemed so old. I let years go by to watch it die but it never got cold. So I stay up at night trying to make it seem alright, but I'm still so worried - I'm immune or it's my birthright. I don't care how that sounds. This is my life.
2.
What do I say when I don't know what to say? You know I've tried to put it to you every single other way. What do I get for my energy? Feeling listless until Christmas over something like this. This over the phone drama, has become a pointless two day dilemma. What do I do when I don't know what to do? I feel like the best and the worst thing is just not to talk to you. Where's the grinder - put me through. Feeling down and on the ground, your words weigh on me by the pound. I don't want to point at you. That would be avoiding the truth, and the truth is I'm such a shit.
3.
Stay Busy! 02:34
I feel a clench in my chest when I think of death. Where do we go? Reassure me you don't know so I can sleep. Get a home, a job. Get a wife, a child. Is there a life more mild? I'd rather do the opposite of what I expect like I'm going out of style, cause if I settle down I think I'm going to drown in the cracks I will fall between and spend my life in the dark wondering what could have been. Now I've got a job so I can live at home and hang on to the things I own. They don't reflect what's in my mind, but tell me, where do you draw the line? When I start to drown I stop and look around, and I can see I'm not alone. And how can I answer for myself and still make time for my phone? I try so hard to deny the fact that one day I'm just another cool dad. I'm not yet done. Can you handle this truth bomb? One day you're just another cool mom. We will all look back some day and decide that we're not done yet. What if it was all a lie and I don't go anywhere when I die?
4.
Garden level nights and hold on tights, by the time you arrive I've been drinking. Tae Sung, tell your sister I'm done. Push me to the brink over my next shift as I march to the cracking sound of your whip. Fresh eyes cleaning up dead flies. Your world, your way, Angelica. Garden level nights and hold on tights, by the time you arrive I've been thinking: isn't it about location, location, location? Push me to the brink into your next fit. It's ok cause I'm coming in drunk as shit. Sam O., tell me what I don't know. My world, my way, I'm Bobby. If there's anything left in the cards make sure that I'm greenish-blue. What an awkward pairing, me and you. Srirachi with a side of disrespect cause you bounce my first fucking real assed paycheck.
5.
She left her tire Marks all over the ground, was gone before I heard the sound. Later I can hear the edge in her voice, like she ever had a choice. I've got a gift, a way to keep you in my frame and make us both act the same, and keep you in bed with this disease that bears my name. Good children don't ask questions, especially if the matter is pressing. At some point there's no getting out, one is one what is for the rest of their days.
6.
Do you have his picture? What color are his eyes? We should listen to my bleating together sometime. But now I'll go to sleep even if you're feeling able, cause this bed feels more like the edge of a table. Answer me now, what do I ask of you? More feeling and "don't think, shoot!" (pikachu). But it's so hard for me to go with my own plans, so I feel like a sardine in a can.
7.
They sang an old familiar song cause they'd been apart so long, and it didn't sound the same cause they both had changed. So now they smoke and listen in just to rise above a din that had come in range. Instead we lay here on the floor, your third watches from the door, looking down on us. So much for not being discreet. Tell me when and where to meet to avoid this fuss. What would you say to me if conversation could happen freely? So now they're never on the phone calling each other back home, cause they wouldn't sound the same. Get this: that's ok. So much for not being discreet, tell me when and where to meet to avoid the freeze. Here's what I'd say to you if conversation could be between two: I want to know it all right now. I don't care why or how. I just want something that I know.
8.
I just got home, I need to go. I just woke up but it doesn't show. I used to smile more than this, even though I'd never need a reason why... to keep it on my face. I just re-beat my favorite game. I just cleared off my favorite plate. I used to have eyes bigger than now, seeing right through me like a plow.. but now I can't choose sides. Now I only ask of my, why make it so difficult socially? I wish I had the answer.
9.
I got a funny look from you today, and when you ran away I chased you like a dog. You put me in a stall, but that's not all. I had to work with you. You're so green, I'm blue. To be in stealth is to lay like a log. I would through myself into a Metal Gear... a victim to sonar.
10.
Nose Lotion 02:48
Did it feel wrong or right? I said I don't know. Did she put up a fight? I said I don't know if it's real, it's been so long. If it is, take me along. In my house of memories I would lock my door. I don't want to see the basement anymore. If I went, what would I find? Tell me, then, the the point to hide. And I'm falling face down, but she still wants me around... In this world, what could I ask? I take no time to feel wrong. If I went, what would you say, my friendliest enemy? In this world, what could I ask that you could say? I'm hung up on what I'm not, can't sit still with what I've got. In this world, what could I be that you'd want?
11.
I feel like I can tell you anything. I hope I don't make me make a mistake. I want you to tell me everything. Not much for granted that I'll take. I don't want to shake you. I don't want to break you. I just want you to be the person that you want to be, (but) with me.
12.
All my friends have gone away, but that's ok. I'll be the man that didn't stay, stayed away, didn't say... anyway. Enough about me, cause I am born of steel, my nerves are made of steel, so why do I avoid what I feel? I could live splendidly blind. But JesusGod I'm small and I'll never see it all I can't help but feel appalled at the state of my mind wall to wall... so cliche and contrived. But that's ok. I'll be the boy that didn't cry, or ask why, I'll just deny my insides. Enough about me, and what I'm going to let you see. I'll pretend that I'm ok.

about

Braver is:
Lupe Muraszewski - Guitar/Vocals
Parker Thompson - Drums
Ryan Vee - Bass

credits

released May 4, 2012

Engineered, Mixed, and Mastered in the basement by Eric Hills, winter of 2011/12.

Cover art by Charlie Marks
Art Direction by Dana Marks

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all rights reserved

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about

Braver Minneapolis, Minnesota

Lupe, Ryan, Dani. Minneapolis, MN.

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